How to Get Your Partner Involved in Feeding Time

25 December 2024

Feeding time can be one of the most rewarding moments with your little one—it's all about bonding, eye contact, and those adorable messy moments that feel like a tiny explosion just hit your kitchen. But let’s admit it: when one parent shoulders the bulk of the feeding duties, it can get overwhelming pretty fast. So, how can you encourage your partner to share some of the responsibility and (dare I say it) even enjoy it? Spoiler: It’s not about nagging. It’s about teamwork, communication, and finding a rhythm that works for both of you.

Here’s how you can make feeding time a joint effort and turn it into a team sport—less like tug-of-war and more like doubles tennis.

Why Involving Your Partner in Feeding Time Matters

Before jumping into the "how," it’s important to understand the "why." Feeding time isn't just about nourishment; it’s about connection and shared parenting experiences. When both partners are involved, it deepens the family bond and prevents one parent from carrying the emotional and physical load alone. Plus, let’s be honest: kids thrive on consistency from both parents. When they see both of you taking part in their care, it helps them feel secure.

And for you? It's an opportunity to share the wins (and spills) with your partner. No one said parenting was a solo act—it’s meant to be a duet!

1. Start with Open Communication

Let’s face it: partners aren’t mind readers. If you want your partner to take part in feeding time, you’ve got to let them know. Choose a moment when both of you are calm, not mid-baby meltdown or when the dishwasher just broke. Sit down and talk about how you’re feeling and why their involvement would mean so much to you.

You could say something like:
"I’d really love for us to share feeding time—it’s such an important bonding experience, and I think it would be great for both of you. Plus, it would help me catch a breather sometimes!"

Keep It a Two-Way Conversation

Don’t frame it as a demand. Instead, focus on how feeding time can be an opportunity for your partner to create their own unique bond with your baby. Ask for their thoughts and acknowledge any apprehensions they might have.

2. Make It a Team Effort

Sometimes the best way to get your partner involved is to turn it into a partnership. For example:
- One of you could handle prepping the bottles or baby food while the other takes care of feeding.
- If you’re breastfeeding, your partner could burp the baby afterward or clean up any messes (because, let’s be real, feeding is never mess-free).

Think of it as a kitchen dance—each person plays a role, and together, you make it work. The more your partner feels like an integral part of the process, the more likely they’ll want to step up.

3. Share the Knowledge

For some partners, the thought of getting involved in feeding time can feel... daunting. Maybe they’re worried they’ll do it “wrong,” or they simply don’t know where to start. This is where sharing information comes in handy.

Show them the ropes without overwhelming them. You can take five minutes to demonstrate how to hold the baby’s bottle or explain when it's time for a burp. If you're using formula, let them in on the specifics of scooping and mixing. Walking them through it the first few times can help them feel more confident.

One tip? Keep the instructions simple and leave room for trial and error. You didn’t become a pro at this overnight, and they won’t either.

4. Embrace Flexibility

Not every feeding session will go exactly as planned. Sometimes the baby is fussy or your partner might not do things the way you do. That’s okay. Resist the urge to hover or micromanage—yes, even when they’re holding the spoon at a weird angle or accidentally offering the baby milk that’s a little too warm.

Instead, remember: perfection isn’t the goal, participation is. Give them space to figure out their style, even if it includes a few spills along the way.

5. Make It Fun

Let’s be real: feeding time isn’t always glamorous. But it doesn’t have to be a chore, either. Encourage your partner to make it fun! They could sing silly songs, mimic airplane noises, or even have a little dance party during feeding sessions.

Babies respond to connection, so turning feeding time into an entertaining experience can make it something everyone looks forward to—baby included. Plus, your partner might discover that they actually enjoy the silliness more than they thought they would.

6. Acknowledge Their Efforts

This one’s big. When your partner does step up, be sure to acknowledge it—not in a fake, over-the-top way, but genuinely. A quick, “Thanks for taking over the morning feeds this week, it really helped me” can go a long way.

Everyone likes to feel appreciated, and that little boost can encourage them to keep pitching in.

7. Divide (and Rotate) Responsibilities

Sometimes, the best way to involve your partner is to set up a clear routine that incorporates both of you. Maybe you take care of the morning feeds, and they handle the bedtime ones. Or you alternate days entirely, giving each of you a chance to rest and recharge.

Having a set schedule eliminates the guesswork and helps make feeding time feel like shared territory rather than one person’s burden.

8. Encourage Skin-to-Skin Connection

Feeding time, particularly when it comes to bottle-feeding, can be a perfect opportunity for your partner to bond through skin-to-skin contact. Encourage them to hold the baby close, allowing that soothing physical connection to form. Babies love the warmth, the heartbeat, and the closeness—it’s comforting and magical for both sides.

9. Don’t Forget Self-Reflection

Sometimes, we unknowingly hold the reins a little too tightly when it comes to parenting. Ask yourself: Am I unintentionally keeping my partner out of feeding time because I think I’m “better” at it? It happens to the best of us, especially when we’ve been doing it solo for a while.

Let go of the pressure to do everything “just right” and allow your partner to step in, even if they don’t do things your way. Trust me, it’ll make a world of difference.

10. Celebrate the Wins Together

Did your partner finally master that bottle-prep routine without spilling a single scoop of formula? Did they discover that the baby loves being sung to during feeding sessions? Celebrate those moments, however small! Parenting is full of tiny victories, and sharing them as a team strengthens your bond.

Maybe even mark the occasion with a high-five or a bowl of ice cream after the baby’s asleep. You both deserve it.

Final Thoughts

Getting your partner involved in feeding time isn’t about forcing them to do things your way or checking a parenting box. It’s about creating opportunities for connection, balancing responsibilities, and showing that caring for your little one is a team effort.

So, instead of stressing over how they’re holding the spoon or who gets more feeding shifts, focus on the bigger picture: building a strong foundation for your family, one meal at a time. And hey, if they get baby food smeared all over their shirt… consider it a step in the right (and messy) direction.